5 posts tagged “school”

The biggest difference this year is that I'm focused much more on the students and much less on myself.  I'm seeing the possibilities of each individual student in my classroom and how they can help each other.  I'm being more understanding, more patient (so far, at least).  I'm not scared.  Honestly, I don't remember all that much about the first days of last year.  I feel like maybe I was going through it in a haze, worried and obsessing over everything. 

"I'm sitting in the lunchroom, seeing the faces of my former students and grinning like a fool.  Even the ones whose presence I dreaded.  They make me smile.  I want to see their faces next year.  I want to watch them walk across the stage in their silly hats the year after that.  I'll cry like a baby.  THIS is why I came back.  I didn't know it at the time, but this is it." 

Now, I have no idea if this feeling will last for any length of time, but I can hope.  And when the days get bad again, (and they no doubt will, though hopefully only briefly) I can look at this and remember the feeling and know that eensy tiny little moments like this will make it worthwhile.  I can see that I'm getting pretty mushy here, and that could be because I'm a bit sleep-deprived and horribly sentimental, but I like it.  So I'm going to wallow in this ridiculous, mushy, horribly sentimental feeling as long as the damn thing lasts.  Or til I go to sleep, at the very least. 

Hopefully I won't be embarrassed enough to delete or hide this when I wake up with a closer-to-fully-functional brain.  I totally almost cried in the cafeteria today.  I am a nutcase.  Thank you.  Good night. 

This past school year, I worked in JPS and was required to follow the pacing guide supplied by my district, so designing a curriculum map was a relatively new exercise for me.  I made one for the second session with my fellow first-years last summer.  I think it's definitely a useful exercise.  There are significant pros and cons to having a pacing guide supplied by the district.  Sometimes, the time frames for the objectives are unrealistic, but it is comforting to have a guide to follow all the same.  Since my subject was not state tested, I was not watched very closely by my administration, so I could add a few days here and subtract a few there. 

One challenge of creating a curriculum map is the lack of knowledge on the part of the students.  Do you start where you're supposed to start, according to the frameworks, or do you go back to where the blank space starts?  I worry that we're wasting time on basic basics, but at the same time, we need a solid foundation to build on.  I'm thankful that this summer school is twice as long as it has been before, so hopefully our students will have the time to get a more thorough grasp of the most important concepts.  Allotting time is also challenging.  We've changed up our scheduling a little since we made it, which was bound to happen when it became evident where our students needed more work and how fast they could move. 

Ok. I'm going to go ahead and admit it.  I have two biggest classroom management challenges.  They seem somewhat contradictory. 

#1 (lately) is my temper.  I get frustrated and angry.  I sometimes let it show.  I'm certainly not the kindest of teachers sometimes.  I let my attitude get very negative, and by showing my students that negative attitude, I cut myself off at the knees.  I speak harshly to a student, and that student is definitely going to be defensive or, at the very least, uncooperative.  I hadn't really noticed this until this past week or so.  I really think that I haven't been quite so bitter before.  (I'm taking a mental health day on Monday. I think it'll be better for me and for the students)  I have been trying lately (ie today) to be more positive in my interactions with all of my students.  (I'm so glad that most of you got started on your Do Now when I entered the room, etc)  It just feels so completely ridiculous to deal with the same problems with the same students every time I see them.  Deep breaths.  Biting my tongue.  PATIENCE.

#2 is my inconsistency.  I wobble.  Sometimes when I warn, I forget to mark it down.  If I forget to mark it down, I have no way of knowing for sure that I did warn.  I give too many second (third, fourth) chances.  I hate sending kids to the office.  Hate it.  They miss class, I lose time.  It makes sense to me that if I send them to the office, they'll hold it against me and be less likely to be cooperative in the future (simply because that's how I would react).  Of course, if I don't send them out, they'll think that the behavior is acceptable (which it isn't).  I have a few habitual troublemakers in my classes.  When I enforce my consequences for them, they complain that I'm singling them out.  It doesn't quite make me crazy, but it certainly causes some significant self-doubt. 

I'm a work in progress.  At least I'm thinking about it and making an effort to improve.  It doesn't feel like I am sometimes, but I am. I promise.

I think this blog might be late.  I'm not sure.

I read this book, or at least parts of it, this summer.  Of course, I forgot that I had read it, though I remembered when I started rereading it.  It's full of good advice.  The section on the history of education in Mississippi was quite interesting.  If I implemented all of the good advice I've found, I'd be set.  Well, maybe not quite set, but certainly in a better position.  I hate responding to books like this.  (just so you know)  I just don't have anything interesting or meaningful to say.  I SHOULD use a good bit of the tips in this book, but I probably won't, simply because I'm completely scatterbrained.  I can't remember to do everything.  I can't even keep track of my clipboard and pens in the classroom.  I'm a horrible teacher.  I should be a librarian. 

Sorry.  About the book.  It's great, I think.  I don't know what else to say.  I think I do some of the things the authors have suggested.  I should probably do more student-teacher conferences.  Maybe that would help some with my classroom management issues.  I'm willing to bet it would only help for about twenty minutes at a time, though.  Maybe I'll try it and find out. 

I do tend to be the center of attention for a significant portion of class time.  I'm working on it, though.  Working.  More activities?  I don't know. 

The end.

an uplifting thought for Friday afternoon

My favorite student is Z.  She's always smiling, always cheerful.  She does her work and hands it in on time.  She's good-natured about the misbehavers in her class.  She stops by after school to do extra credit work.  She keeps working until she understands the material.  She asks questions when she's confused by a concept.  She stays on task.  She giggles (quietly).  She has talent. The students had to do projects on their summer reading books.  She did a book report type board on Tears of a Tiger.  It's one of those big cardboard boards like you would use for a science fair project.  She covered the entire board in an enormous drawing of a tiger's face.  It's awesome.  It's going in the hall, for sure. 
I think a good bit of her dedication to school comes from her mother.  Her mom seems very involved in her life.  She wants to know how and what her daughter is doing.  She makes sure Z does her assignments and gets them handed in on time.